This week has been rough. Breakups are hard, and I’m still reeling from one of them.
Remember how I wrote that thing about 13 tips for surviving a breakup? One rule I probably should have included is DON’T GET BACK TOGETHER WITH YOUR EX. It’s so rarely a good idea. This time, it got bad. Like, real bad. Tearing myself away was hard and terrifying and violent and all sorts of shit that life should not be full of. That was two weeks ago. I’m learning a lot about myself (why do I put up with crap I shouldn’t?) and a lot about ex #2 (narcissism is a bitch). Thank god he doesn’t read this.
A dear friend sent this spoken word video about what I’ve been explaining to her about my experience. The video is about gaslighting, a particular form of emotional abuse that I’ve had the misfortune of being victim to. It just took me a long time to realize what was happening. Have a watch of it:
All sorts of feels on that one. I’ve been researching my face off about how to move on after such a toxic relationship. The primary bit of advice I’ve found among all my research is to LOVE YOURSELF. Take all that energy you were putting in to trying to love your partner and re-channel it to yourself. So today? I took a day off work. Visited family. I went to a meditation group. Got an over-due oil change for my car. I bought a bunch of nice food to make a beautiful healthy meal. I danced a little in the living room. And I’m taking this emotional recovery one day at a time.