Happy new year!
I don’t know about you, but I am happy to kiss 2010 good-bye. Because even though I got married and became a business owner this year (two very very awesome things), 2010 still kinda tore me apart. It was gritty and real and BIG— and not a whole lot of fun. When the clock struck midnight this new years eve, surrounded by some of my most favorite people in the world I might add, I had this feeling of total freedom. Like a huge weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I can only guess that that means the gritty, big stuff is behind me, at least for a while. Please god.
This year, I didn’t make a new years resolution. I think I have enough on my plate right now with all the life-list stuff. Maybe my new years resolution should be to work on my life list. Because doing it feels pretty amazing. And I’m a big fan of doing things that feel amazing.
I don’t know what it is, but for the past three months or so I’ve been more ambitious and motivated to do things, lots of things actually, than I have been in years. I’d like to say it’s because I’m happily married and feel settled. But that’s not really it. I could say it’s because I finally have a job I love and I feel settled in that. But that’s not really it either.
I think it’s because this year I was tested in a way I haven’t been since college. College was super busy. It took me nearly six years to get through it. I had to take a few semesters off to work, and I always had a full-time job, even while I was taking classes. I had rent and bills to pay and all that– sometimes I had several jobs at once. Not to mention, towards the end of my college years I discovered running. And I didn’t let a day pass without going for a run. I loved being busy. I went to sleep at night feeling ridiculously accomplished, and for me, there is really no better feeling.
When I finally graduated in 2007, I went through a *little bit* of an identity crisis. What the heck am I supposed to do with myself without all this homework and running around to classes and three different jobs? Plenty of people told me the answer to that question was: Get a Day Job. So I got a receptionist gig at a ritzy Venture Capitalist firm. But the sitting-for-8-hours-a-day thing slowed me down almost to a complete halt. I was sluggish. Uninterested in things. I was just…. bored. And being bored makes me lazy. I couldn’t pick myself up again to become that ambitious, always-busy person I so loved being in college.
Then, 2010 happened. After 8 months of unemployment, Michael asked me to marry him. Awesome, right? Yeah. Totally awesome. But the reality of the engagement phase is that you have to plan a huge party for 100 people, with mountains of expectations, and too many emotions… and all if it becomes more of a challenge than you’d think. Just keeping sane is a full time job.
It didn’t end there, though. Half-way through the wedding planning process (which I was doing ALL of because I was unemployed and Michael had a job)….. we bought our beautiful baby of a café on craigslist. It’s awesome, but holy crap… that sh*t was hard. Buying a business is, to date, the most confusing and convoluted process I have ever had to engage in. Ever.
So come September 5th 2010, the wedding is behind us, the café is up and running, and I realized I did two huge things at once. And succeeded at it. (Except for my phone ringing during my vows, but I won’t remember that in five years, right? Right?) I felt amazingly accomplished, and I loved it. The whole year reminded me that I am capable of doing lots of things, and that I actually like it.
So now I am on a roll. I literally cannot stop. Right now, doing stuff makes me feel good. And this list makes me do stuff. So therefore, this list makes me feel good. And since my new year’s resolution is to do stuff on this list, I’m thinking 2011 is going to be *awesome*.
Here are some updates on what I’ve been doing the last two weeks since the last post.
- For: Perform something pre-rehearsed for a live audience.
Singing lessons are going along swimmingly. I learned that I can sing a heck of a lot higher than I thought. Sometimes the sounds actually scare me. Like, who the hell is living in my voice box?
I’m working on a Norah Jones song now. I’ll tell you what, it’s pretty impossible to sing her songs without sounding like her. I think I have a mimicking problem. I’m all smoky-low-jazz-singer-voice by the first chord. I’m not sure I even know what my own voice sounds like. I think that’s something I need to work on.
Once I get some more lessons under my belt I’ll start to brainstorm on how to perform something. Open Mic? Probably. Anyone play the guitar?
- For: Run at least a 5k marathon.
THE GYM. Duh-duh-duuuuuh. I’ve been dreading the gym for, like, two years now. I’ve gone a few times over the last few years and I dragged my feet even while I was there. It never felt good. Or right. Or like I had accomplished anything. Fast-forward to now, I’ve gone three times this week and I can stay for two hours without wanting to leave. WTF? I don’t understand it. I actually got all emotional and teared up while I was on the treadmill and listening to Timbaland. Yeah. Apparently I need this right now.
- For: Find a favorite beer.
I’ve been doing all sorts of beer research. A beer review post is in the works.
That’s it for now. I’ve got plans for some other things on the list, but only a few at a time can happen. But two life-list entries will be crossed off the list by the end of the month. You’ll have to stay tuned to find out which ones!
Also- I’m officially removing the numbers on the list so that I can move things around a little easier.
Ciao for now beautiful people!